An Online Literary Journal for Poetry and Flash

Tag: contemplation

Estate Sale

Fiction by Deborah Wessell

“Excuse me. Excuse me? Would you take ten for this?” Lois hoisted the tuxedo
pants and jacket before the bored, merciless eyes of the man accepting money.

“Tag says fifteen.”

He was middle-aged, as she was, but lean and weathered, with a graying ponytail
and bare feet. His till was a fishing tackle box. Behind him a Sunday morning crowd
picked over the debris of someone’s life, the husband who had worn the tuxedo and read Sky & Telescope, the wife given to macramé and saving cottage cheese containers. Lois wondered if they were dead, but of course it would be ghoulish to ask.

“I know the tag says fifteen. But it’s not in good shape, and anyway I only have
ten dollars with me, so…”

“So?”

“Never mind,” she murmured, but he cut her off.

“OK, ten.”

Lois was certain that the man knew she had always wanted a tuxedo jacket, just to
wear with jeans, and that she feared she was too old and overweight to carry it off. Well, was he such a prize, with that silly hair and the T-shirt with the rude slogan? She pulled out her wallet and something dropped from her purse: a slip of paper folded around two twenty dollar bills.

“Oh!” said Lois, appalled. “Oh, that’s right, I went to the cash machine last night.
I could, I mean, if you want fifteen…”

The man snorted. “Forget it.”

Lois drove home in mortification, and it was days before she could bring herself to try on her purchase. The pants, at least, made her laugh: clown pants, much too short and huge around the waist, with stiff black suspenders. Then the jacket, heavy on her shoulders. She slid her hands down the lapels and smoothed the skirts over her hips, sighing over the bulges. Then she frowned and explored a miniature inside front pocket. A small rough nugget met her fingertips and she drew it forth: a tiny ivory wedge, smooth-sided, red-brown at the jagged base. A baby tooth.

Lois had a rushing vision of a dark bedroom, a child’s breathing, a slanting slice of light from the hallway. Daddy, with his barrel belly and his suspenders and his satin lapels, on his way to some long-ago fancy night out, steps to the bedside and slips one hand gently under the pillow to exchange a silvery dime for this disgusting little miraculous tooth.

The man in the rude T-shirt, was he that child? Even if he wasn’t, he was a child once, and someone loved him, or didn’t love him. Lois was dizzied by the thought, not only of the man, but of everyone, herself and her own children and her friends and their children and oh Lord, everyone she’d ever met or would never meet and all of them, every individual on this entire warm busy planet, would someday be dead, and there would just be these little things, these objects once significant of love. The thought was marvelous but entirely too much, and Lois threw the tooth away.


Deborah Wessell writes the Wedding Planner mystery series under the name Deborah Donnelly. She is a former librarian, copywriter, and speechwriter. She lives in Bellingham, Washington, with her writer husband and their unruly corgis.

A Life Lived in Common

Poetry by Robert Harlow

They don’t think much about it,
I suspect, the horses, the snow.
Probably wonderstruck the first time
they stand in it, as it falls on and around them.
As long as they have something to eat,
mostly hay, unbaled, strewn, disheveled,
they are fine, it seems. Nonchalant.
At least that’s what they look like. Their pose.
And there’s always one, isn’t there,
who is off by himself, looking
to the distance he can’t get to.
Even though he’s never been there,
he wonders if there’s a way he can.
Somehow, he’ll have to convince the others,
nodding into the feed, to cover for him
by creating one of their famous diversions
as he tries to figure out how to open the gate,
because he has to live with the mistake he made
of not learning how to be a jumper
as I tried to teach him to be.
And he can’t secretly disassemble the rails
without me seeing him, catch him in the act,
putting on the “What? I wasn’t doing nothing” face.
Even though he is dark-gray, intermittently rain-smooth
when he needs to be, snow won’t help hide him,
as he thinks it will, or fill in his hoof prints
on the other side if he somehow remembers
what I tried to teach him about going over obstacles
one might encounter in this often-puzzling world.
So, he’ll have to be content,
or at least pretend to be, with his lot in life.
We have so much in common, he and I, don’t we?
He staring off into his distance.
Me staring off into mine.


Robert Harlow resides in upstate NY. He is the author of Places Near and Far (Louisiana Literature, 2018). His poems appear in Poetry Northwest, RHINO, Slipstream Magazine, and elsewhere.

Because It’s Beautiful

Poetry by Beate Sigriddaughter

She does not believe in obedience to complications. When she plays her flute, she doesn’t play because it’s hard. She plays because it’s beautiful, like singing, even if it is ridiculously easy. Explaining this to experts is a challenge. Sometimes it takes days before she can resume reality with unassuming confidence. She is old enough to follow her own rules, but often still hesitates at the door of permission without knocking, and she still has trouble finding a safe haven for her longing. Once upon a time she woke up celebrating trees outside her window or the scent of cedar after rain and sparkles at the tips of junipers. She contemplates the lord of good intentions with a trembling candle in her hand, like Psyche looked at Eros long ago. Just like a simple tune, she finds him beautiful, and bravely whispers to herself: Let him sleep. He needs his rest, trapped in his fears. Every restraint, though, makes the future harder, like incessant rain as summer fades into the dreaded shapes of insignificance. She gathers scents and music, fragments of herself. People parade in her dreams, harmless like conundrums. Sometimes she dreams of perfume and all her misery is nothing more than being reasonably well loved. She readily admits she might have liked God but never got a chance. She never steals from others, not intentionally anyway. Now she must simply learn to master not stealing from herself.


Beate Sigriddaughter, www.sigriddaughter.net, lives in Silver City, New Mexico (Land of Enchantment), where she was poet laureate from 2017 to 2019. Her poetry and short prose are widely published in literary magazines. Recent book publications include a poetry collection, Wild Flowers, and short story collection, Dona Nobis Pacem.

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