An Online Literary Journal for Poetry and Flash

Tag: heartache

Days After Christmas

Fiction by Gregory Cusumano

The Christmas tree had begun to sag. It actually started to sag several days ago, but it was a slow process— incremental, first the bottom branches drooped, then the next row up, and the next. The pine needles dried, and the trunk slumped to its side. Now, the needles were pallid, and the string lights had slipped low on the branches. It was daytime. The apartment dim, lit from only the front window, which was defused by flurries of snow.  

The new Christmas gifts had been opened, played with, and now set up neatly in all their new homes around the living room. The hollow green Castle Grayskull, with its skeleton face, mouth for a drawbridge, sat at the foot of the tree. Across from it, next to the sofa, was the purple snake-like castle of Skeletor. A landspeeder sat above it on the side table, accompanied by a 4″ plastic Luke Skywalker on his Tauntaun battling a fluffy white horned monster called a Wompa.

On the TV stand, the new Donkey Kong Jr. and Q*bert video cartridges were lined up with the other Atari games next to a Zenith box tube television set.

Yes, all the presents had found a home except for the lone package beneath the tree. Its paper was crinkled, the rips taped, torn again, and re-taped again with stronger masking tape.  

The name tag lost days ago.

A strong wind whistled past the window, making it shudder. “Will you get off of there?” the mom said as she dragged a large suitcase into the living room. She was dressed for traveling, comfy jeans, a sweater, and sneakers.

“No,” said the boy sitting by the window, his nose pressed against the glass. He was almost too big to be sitting on the sill. Once upon a time, he could crawl along it with ease. Now, at nine, he had to balance carefully.

“It’s too cold to be sitting that close to the window.”

“I’m not cold.”

“I’m cold just looking at you, and it’s time to go. I’d like to get on the road before the weather gets really bad.”

“Can we wait a little longer?”

“We’re going to be late.”

“Half-hour?”

“Fifteen minutes.”

“Ok.”

“Can you at least get off of there and put on a sweater?”

“No!” said the boy, not looking at her. He was intent on staying there all day if he had to. He didn’t care if they spent New Year’s Eve with his cousins. He was half-hoping that they would get snowed in.

His mother came over to him, putting her arms around him. “You’re freezing. Come on, let’s get down.”

He didn’t budge.

Outside, a handful of kids dressed in snow gear entered the courtyard of their apartment complex, whooping and chasing after each other, throwing snowballs. “Nicky and Joel are outside. It looks like they are having a good time. Why don’t you go out and play with them? It’s as good as waiting here.”

“I’d rather stay here.”

“It will be more fun with your friends.”

“Can you call again?”

“I called already. There was no answer.”

“If you call him again, maybe, he’ll answer this time.”

“I’ve called! He swore he would be here Christmas morning. Then the next day and the next, and now today,” she looked at her watch. “He’s five hours late. No, I will not call him again. We should get on the road.”

The boy pushed his tongue against the back of his front teeth, crinkling his lips and nose, holding back the brimming tears.

“Please,” his lower lip trembled.

“If you get off there, I’ll call him again.”

The boy didn’t budge.

“Suit yourself.”

The boy watched the kids play. The chase had ended. Now, they were behind the short leafless hedges on the courtyard area that, in a different season, would be green with a manicured clipped lawn. They were building a snowman.

The flurries were picking up. Maybe he would get his wish. A gust rattled the window. The snow was making it hard to see. Yet the boy steadfastly continued to search. Then, in the distance, near the road, a man entered the courtyard. He was bundled in a parka, his arms laden with packages.

“HE’S HERE!”

The boy leaped from the window sill, running across the living room, hopping into his boots, tearing open the door, and bounding down the stairs.

“Wait, your coat!” his mom yelled out to him. THUMP – THUMP – THUMP, the sound of his boots thumping down the stairs to the front door.

He turned the knob, cold to his ungloved hand. It spun, he pulled the door open, and he was hit with a windy, white torrent of flakes. Wiping it away, he plowed ahead, running as best he could, slipping at times but righting himself before he could fall. He ran up to the man in the parka holding the packages.

“Hello,” said the mailman with a smile.

His face went gaunt.

“Hi,” said the boy. He blinked. One tear appeared, then the next. No matter how hard he pressed his tongue against his teeth, he couldn’t keep back the thing he had so successfully suppressed in the past.

From behind him, his mother approached with a coat. He slipped his arms into its sleeves. She zippered it for him. “You always have me.”

“I know.”

“Is that enough?”

“I don’t know.”

“Me either.”

They walked side by side back through the courtyard. She knew better than to offer her hand. After a time, he offered his. She accepted. The snow drifting around them, sometimes in torrents, sometimes in flurries.

“Do you want me to call him?”

“No,” said the boy, less sullen, “I think it’s time to go.”


Greg Cusumano‘s love of storytelling began at a young age sitting at his grandparent’s table for the traditional Italian Sunday meal. He is mainly known for his work as a film and television editor; his recent credits include Grey’s Anatomy, Teen Wolf The Movie and Wolf Pack. This is his first published story.

Julia and Chang

Fiction by Brett Scott

And here’s the opening, the opportunity you’ve been waiting for, Julia told herself, looking in Chang’s direction, who now sat alone on the other side of the garden. His assistant, after seeing him to a comfortable spot and getting all of his various affairs in order, had promptly left him unattended, which was a rarity as far as Julia had seen this week. Although she and Chang had known each other as children, he was eventually transferred to California, leaving the two out of touch. Chang was famous now, and far too good for her, as far as Julia was concerned. In truth, his success was somewhat more modest than she understood, but his image did grace screens and billboards across the country. He had returned to Omaha just a handful of times on his promotional tours, and Julia had finally worked herself up to trying to reconnect with him on his present trip.

The garden was Julia’s favorite place. In the middle of a bustling and chaotic world, she had only this small piece of paradise. The sunlight, filtered through the shade of the lofty trees, gave her body comfort, and the sound of the softly trickling stream gave her spirit peace. And although she couldn’t believe he had started showing up there out of the blue that week, she was overcome with excitement to see him again. Just do it, Julia. It’s now or never, she encouraged herself, standing up from her spot beside the stone wall.

Slowly and nervously making her way across the garden, she watched as some of the passersby took notice of Chang. This was normal for him, she thought. As they smiled and pointed, he simply nodded back politely and resumed his business. Steadily, in only the time it took for her to advance, Chang’s number of gawkers increased to the proportion of a small crowd. Chang remained ever stoic, even as the cluster began pulling out their phones and pointing their cameras toward him.

Chang, peering subtly around the garden in hopes of catching a glimpse of his assistant’s return, instead noticed Julia, who now stood only several yards away beneath the shade of a pine tree. They smiled at each other, and Julia thought she saw his face warm with the spark of recognition. But just as quickly, Chang bowed his head politely, yet indiscriminately, toward her and then resumed anxiously scanning the grounds for his assistant. Discouraged, but not defeated, Julia approached Chang.

“Chang! I—It’s me, Julia.” Again, Chang looked in her direction, but his expression was vague and empty, as though he hadn’t heard her speak at all. Julia swallowed hard and spoke again. “I’m sorry. You might not remember, but we were friends a long time ago… Do you remember? We used to play in this garden. Chang?” Chang stood up and gazed deep into Julia’s eyes. A look crossed him as though he was about to reply. Instead, and without forewarning, he softly tumbled down onto the grass in front of her. “Chang?” Rolling onto his back, belly in the air, he turned his head away from Julia and back towards the direction in which he last saw his assistant. Tears began creeping into Julia’s eyes, but she did her very best to blink them away. “Anyway, Chang, it was nice to see you… And I’m sorry if I’ve bothered you.”

As she walked back towards the pine tree with her head down, she turned to get one last look at Chang. Still lying on his back, he was now grabbing fallen leaves from the ground and tossing them in the air to playfully enjoy their descent. He’s changed so much and yet not at all, she thought—the tears finally breaching from both eyes and rolling down her cheeks. Then, from high atop the stone retaining wall, Julia heard a young girl shout.

“Look, they’re bringing out the food!”

“That’s right, Addie. And what do pandas eat?” The girl’s mother responded.

“Bamboo!” Several of the children shouted in unison, having just learned this fact from the tour guide. The families watched as the enclosure door opened and Chang’s attendant emerged carrying a bundle of bamboo stalks. Chang urgently leapt upward and embraced his attendant with joy, almost knocking the poor teenage boy to the grass. The boy laughed as he surrendered some of the bamboo to Chang, who couldn’t get to work eating it fast enough. Grabbing the remaining stalks, the boy then came up to Julia, who was now lying sullenly in her spot on the other side of the enclosure.

“There there, big girl… He’ll come around one of these days,” he assured her, patting the top of her head and laying the bamboo before her on the rocks. Julia watched as the attendant crossed back through the garden, stopping only to rub Chang’s belly and then exiting through the same door in which he entered. She looked at Chang as he happily munched away, and then up to the families on the ledge, who laughed as they held out their phones—some of the children were doing their very best Chang impressions. Julia laid her head back down on the rock and closed her eyes, hoping the day would just end.


Brett Scott is a writer from the Kansas City area.

Hiding from the Moon

Poetry by Ben Westlie

On your porch in our stupor
I kept turning to leave
your voice clung to me
holding me like my shadow.

I don’t know if I trembled
from the bitter temperatures
or how your heart kept speaking out
of turn. The green glowing in your irises

like small cauldrons. The yearning bones of your face.

I should’ve hidden from the moon
so there could be no shadows to latch onto.

I should have blamed my drunken blood.
I prayed for deafness upon my heart.

I should have sprinted down your porch stairs
until I reached another state.

My kind of love wasn’t in any of your mirrors.

Your face is what I see when snow becomes
stars from moonlight. When I hear the creak of old
wood on porches. When I see unruly auburn hair.

I turned around to the begging
of your face. A friend is all you wanted.

The moonlight made me beastly.
A feral creature raging and starving.


Ben Westlie holds an MFA in Poetry from Vermont College of Fine Arts. Publications: Time You Let Me In: 25 Poets Under 25 edited by Naomi Shihab Nye, The Fourth River, Third Coast, Atlas and Alice, the tiny journal, Trampset, ArLiJo, Otis Nebula, WhimsicalPoet, DASH, MUSE, Speckled Trout Review, and Superpresent.

© 2024 The Bluebird Word

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑