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Hold and Release

Nonfiction by Tracey Ciccone Edelist

I am floating on top of a smooth blue sky with dappled clouds that break apart with each dip of the paddle. When the wind picks up, the sky in the lake becomes partially obstructed by privacy glass ripples, obscuring both sky above and underwater life below. Gliding further south, the ripples swell, and now I’m riding dark molten silver waves, the paddleboard gently rocking across the undulating liquid metal. I expect the paddle to drip silver-plated out of the water, but the splashes on my feet are clear and wet. Entering a small bay where the sun peeks through tree canopies, the water becomes like an oil spill, smooth and slick iridescence. I listen to the rustle of the trees as blue jays flit from branch to branch just above the water, breathing in the earthy smell of the damp bank and the leaves lying in varying layers of decomposition on the forest floor. As I drift away from the shoreline, the faint hint of a bonfire wafts through the air and I see a wispy plume of white smoke rising from a cottage clearing across the lake.

Sitting on the silver waves ahead, I see the young loon I’ve watched grow all summer, enjoying an independent swim. The sun reflects brightly off her long beak, not yet having turned black. She startles when she sees me and dives underwater. When she pops back up seconds later, she’s still close. She is almost fully grown, but her feathers haven’t changed from baby gray to the signature black and white adult markings, and she hasn’t yet earned her white necklace. She disappears again and I wait for her to surface. One minute, then two minutes.

Just as I’m wondering where mama loon could be, she swiftly swims to the place from which her loonlet has disappeared. Mama dunks her head below the water’s surface, searching the dark depths for her chick. She raises her head back up to scan across the lake, calls out loudly, and dunks again. I too continue scanning the lake. At last, the chick appears a few feet away and mama and baby swim quickly toward one another, baby bumping up against mama’s breast. The loonlet makes herself as small as she can on top of the water, scrunching her body down close to the surface near mama, hoping I can’t see her, but I can.

I remember how our youngest daughter took a few weeks after birth to unfurl her body from the position she held in my uterus. Born a couple weeks early, I imagined she’d rather be back in her confined amniotic home, riding the waves of my body, than out here in the open where air hit her skin and filled her lungs, and where she had to learn to feed herself from my breast. She wailed to be held at all times, heart to heart, eyes pinched shut, in protest against the vastness of this outside world. Holding her tiny compact body with curved back, arms and legs folded and tucked in tightly toward her center, was like holding a roly-poly hedgehog curled in on itself. We called her Scrunchie, until she began to relax her legs and straighten out her backbone.

Now she stands taller than me, straight-spined, long arms and legs swinging freely in the world she explores on her own. I find solace on the lake, and call her to me when she strays too far for too long.


Tracey Ciccone Edelist has a PhD in social justice education and is a critical disability studies researcher and educator. She had a previous career as a speech-language pathologist, and then as a fine chocolate entrepreneur. Now, she’s making sense of life through creative nonfiction.

Only Windows See

Poetry by Rebecca Nacy

harvest hues hugging
pointed rows of houses,
horizon decorated with
shimmering skyscrapers.

roasted reds and golden grasses
settled to support sparkling shorelines.

sky and sea
separated
by soft stratospheric spectacles.
scene only visible through satellite-sight

rows of grey ovals closed shut,
darkness stales the cabin still.
airborne sleepers snore,
as windows and wings watch.


Rebecca Nacy is a ginger born and raised in Mexico, replanted in Southern Florida. When not researching in a lab, you can find her covered in mud, measuring oysters. While her brain thinks in STEM, her heart loves the arts like singing, tap-dancing, and of course, writing.

September 29

Poetry by Lorelei Feeny

for Dad

Today might be your last full day on earth
but know that I’ll think of you
every time I go to the Dollar Tree.

And whenever John Grisham writes a new book
I’ll put your name on the waiting list
even though you said he always tells the same story.

I still have your pocket avocados growing in my apartment,
windowsills lined with trinkets
given to me when I was a little girl.

and after
all these months
i can release
my grief
held hostage

From endings, new beginnings.


Lorelei Feeny was born and raised in Raleigh, North Carolina. She loves words and learning foreign languages. Her dad inspired her to write poetry. Read his poem The Garden published in The Bluebird Word in July 2023.

February Morning in Palm Springs

Poetry by Suzy Harris

Blue sky laced with clouds, chilly breeze.
Sometimes the sun breaks through to kiss

a cheek, a shoulder, then hides again.
Sandals and sun hat emerge from hibernation.

It is all about the light here,
how it sets the lemon tree aflame,

each lemon a small sun of tart brilliance.
Each cell dulled by winter stirs,

arises to greet the day. Day is still
getting used to these strangers,

prods the multi-celled being
we call human to watch

a hummingbird hovering the base of twin
palm trees, to notice the stalk

arising from the center of an agave,
its death bloom still tightly curled.


Suzy Harris lives in Portland, Oregon. Her poems have appeared in Clackamas Literary Review, Willawaw Journal, and Wild Greens, among other journals and anthologies. Her chapbook Listening in the Dark, about hearing loss and learning to hear again with cochlear implants, was published by The Poetry Box in February 2023.

Lies and Happy Chickens

Nonfiction by Robert Wright

At the turn of the last century, they came to Oregon from Italy to start new lives. They labored in the fields of Southeast Portland. With Italian roots from my immigrant grandparents on my mother’s side, I grew up in this area.

The Italians’ culture and traditions were reflected in their recipes. My grandmother and mother could cook with the best of them: ravioli, lasagna, minestrone, meatballs with spaghetti smothered in mushroom-tinted Bolognese sauce – and Lies.

I was fascinated watching my mother prepare Lies. With a rolling pin she made a thin pasta sheet, pasta sfoglia, from sugar-sweetened dough. She cut away inch-wide strips about six inches long and cut a lengthwise short slit down their centers to make her signature Lies. One end of the dough strip was folded and loosely pulled through the slit resulting in a loop resembling a bow. They were a holiday treat at Christmas time.

Floating on the surface of deep hot oil, the puffed bows became crisp, airy and slightly brown. Then, fished out, while still hot, they were laced with powdered sugar looking like they had been dusted by winter snow. A bowl filled with Lies was often the centerpiece of our dining room table where friends and family gathered during the holidays.

These thin crispy powdered-sugar treats were linguistically linked to an unfortunate pervasive part of human nature: lying. In Italy, lies are called Chiacchiere, for chit-chat, light bits of possibly untruthful, sweetly anticipated gossip.


A flock of Rhode Island Reds lived in a chicken coop out back. I gathered their eggs or fed them vegetable and fruit scraps from the kitchen. The chickens pitched right in and eventually became the central part of my mother’s recipes: Pollo alla Cacciatora, Pollo alla Parmigiana, and crisp fried chicken. In the interim, they were happy unknowing creatures, made all the happier one year, indirectly, by Christmas Lies.

Across the street lived the Okamoto family. They settled there following their forced removal from Portland to Minidoka War Relocation Center in Idaho during World War II. The wounds and racial suspicions from the war healed slowly. One Christmas holiday season my mother decided to help with the healing process. She prepared a large batch of Lies. I accompanied her to deliver the gift. She held the big bowl and knocked on the door. A short, polite Japanese woman answered: Mrs. Okamoto. Of course, they knew each other. But this was special. With a customary slight bow and a smile, she reached out and accepted the Lies and my mother’s holiday intent.

The following evening, I heard a knock on our door; there stood Mrs. Okamoto. Again, there was a slight bow as the gift from the Okamoto family was held out to my mother. The plate was covered with wax paper that hid the gifts underneath. My mother reached out and accepted it with sincere thanks. Mrs. Okamoto left having contributed to neighborly healing. My mother put the plate on our kitchen table for the unveiling; it felt like we were opening a Christmas present.

The array of Japanese handmade edibles was beautiful. Short cylinders of white rice, about the size of small round tuna fish cans, were wrapped around their sides with black dried seaweed. On the center of each rice cake was a small cluster of raw reddish something. We all looked at each other, then at the rice cakes, then at each other, then at the rice cakes. Finally, my mother nibbled at the seaweed edge and wrinkled her mouth, then took a bite out of the center. She knitted her brows and pursed her lips. My father and older brother were next with the same reaction. Watching their expressions, I hesitated, then summoned up all the young tastebud courage I had and gave it a go. The taste was certainly different, far different than Lies or my favorite ravioli.

Without further ado, the plate of rice cakes found a home in our refrigerator to possibly tempt us in the days ahead. There were no takers. European and Asian palates and eating habits were different. For us, the rice cakes were an acquired taste. We lacked patience for this acquisition.

Finally, following my mother’s instruction, I unceremoniously dumped the rice cakes on the ground in the fenced chicken yard. The hens ran over fully expecting kitchen scraps and didn’t hesitate. They pecked and pecked and devoured everything; rice, seaweed, red something, and all. They clucked and clucked. The colorful rooster watched over his feasting hens, stretched his neck up and crowed. They were happy chickens.

In the following days, there was careful questioning. We didn’t want to offend and learned that the red something was raw octopus. We lied, and said we enjoyed the rice cakes. Rarely, lying sometimes can be for greater good.  


After an Air Force career, Robert Wright took to writing in his retirement years and capitalized on his extensive life experience. He has self-published: You’ve Got Rocks (anthology of memoirs); The Brass (non-fiction, famous pub in Portland, Oregon); 3FTx – Timed Terror (fiction, suspense/terror); Nudging Nyame (hard science fiction, suspense/thriller).

Pears

Poetry by Barbara Santucci

Remember those golden d’Anjou pears
that arrived every Christmas Eve in a wooden box,
each flirty orb nestled inside brown shredded paper.

On Christmas morning, their gold
brightened frosty windows panes,
like ornaments glittering on the tree.

You sliced down to the pear’s core,
spread warm Brie over firm flesh
while warming your toes by a fire.

Now, lips chapped by January frost,
hunger for their subtle sweetness.
Dry cracked hands long to cradle their soft skin.

What would you give
for those golden d’Anjou pears
that arrived last Christmas Eve in a wooden box?


Barbara Santucci is a literary and visual artist. She explores the themes of nature, family, and self-reflection. Her poetry has been published in several journals: Plants and Poetry Journal, The Bluebird Word, Writing in a Woman’s Voice, and Macrame Literary Journal. Barbara has published three picture books. Visit her at barbarasantucci.com.

Maisie at Folsom Lake

Poetry by Cecil Morris

On this January day the sky opens wide and bright,
a dream of blue realized and guileless, and the lake,
thanks to a December of bountiful rain and snow,
looks again like a lake where a teenage boy might water ski
through the sear of August and right into the start of school.
My best friend and I take turns throwing a tennis ball
for his galloping Labrador retriever that chases
every arc and leaps into the risen water with a joy
inexhaustible as the sky. She hardly needs a name,
this year-old eagerness, this incarnation of galumphing.
I watch her mad rush and think of Sisyphus. Maybe he loved
the boulder, the reassuring weight of it, the thunder
of its roll. I see rapture in her eyes, her open mouth,
the pink expectation of her tongue, the whole body shake
and spray of water flung off: a little galaxy
of love, of canine glee, of heart in orbit tight,
around and around a simple repetition.


Cecil Morris, a retired high school English teacher and Pushcart Prize and Best of the Net nominee, has poems appearing or forthcoming in The Ekphrastic Review, Hole in the Head Review, New Verse News, Rust + Moth, Sugar House Review, Willawaw Journal, and elsewhere.

Calling Out for Color

Prose Poetry by Kathryn Ganfield

Through the dirty, double-paned windows, screens blackened by a box fan that perches there five months of the year, I see snow poured out blue as gas station slushees or abandoned bottles of glacial electrolytic drinks. But when I open the back door, call out hoarsely to the dog, the snow is not blue after all. Not a bit blue, not even a little. Snow is mauve by the seasoned cedar fence, the fence we always meant to stain, but now seven years have gone by, and the weather beat us to it. Snow is black from puppy paws. Snow is divots and sand traps and even a mangrove back by the barbecue grill and the shade garden where, slicked green, the hosta leaves are a fitted sheet under a snowy duvet. And finally, eyes adjusted to winter’s light, I see the snow for what it is. Not white or blue or any of these colors, but, of course, a color sent south from Canada. The color of goose down—sharp, curling and cold.


Kathryn Ganfield is a Minnesota-based nature writer and essayist. She was a Loft Literary Center Mentor Series Fellow, 2023 Paul Gruchow Essay Contest winner, and a two-time Pushcart Prize nominee. Her words have been published in Water~Stone Review and Creative Nonfiction, among other journals. Find her at kathrynganfield.com.

Tsuga of the Pine Family (Haiku Sonnet)

Poetry by Kersten Christianson

Soft-needled hemlock,
sculpted by edged breeze, you are
both branched, bare-barked, your

evergreen voice notes
a wooden, wild chime chanting
against trunked neighbor.

Tonal clopping, wood
on wood on wood, whispering
needle, shuffling dried

pages of gale, tea-
tossed fluttering paper, winged
winter hummingbirds.

Twinkled spell of fête, nip, rime,
you are welcome in our home.


Kersten Christianson is a poet and English teacher from Sitka, Alaska. She is the author of Curating the House of Nostalgia (Sheila-Na-Gig, 2020) and Something Yet to Be Named (Kelsay Books, 2017). She serves as poetry editor of Alaska Women Speak. Kersten savors road trips, bookstores, and smooth ink pens.

Tabula Rasa

Poetry by Jennie Meyer

The beach a sheet
of untouched morning snow—
the sweeping tide a distant rumble.

My scuffing footprints
as I draft this new poem in steaming breaths—
the first and only brushstrokes.

Not a soul on the beach— no bird, no human,
no dog, not even a fowl’s fork-print embossed.

An empty canvas, free of life’s clamber.

Only one white car parked on Atlantic Ave.
One song sparrow singing like its spring
from some snow-filled limb.

One black mussel reaching out
from beneath the white sheet.

One seagull lifting off from tidal stream,
landing on the blanketed beach, mirroring
its purity with her white sloping belly,

painting it, Pollok-like, with one blast of scat.
Each of us engaged in her craft.


Jennie Meyer’s poetry has appeared in two print anthologies and numerous print and online publications. She is a 2024 finalist for Cathexis Northwest Press: Unpublished Author Chapbook contest, a 2023 winner of Beyond Words: The End of the World Creative Writing Challenge and a 2022 grant recipient from Discover Gloucester.

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